


A Dark Time

by AmayasAngel



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Falls, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 17:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30092655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmayasAngel/pseuds/AmayasAngel
Summary: Almost a month after Armagedon't the consequences of their actions finally hit. Aziraphale is given a choice, but there was only one answer he could ever give. So Aziraphale Falls.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	A Dark Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Darkest Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19188976) by [may_green](https://archiveofourown.org/users/may_green/pseuds/may_green). 



> This work is directly inspired by may_green's story The Darkest Time. It's not the exact same, but it's a very similar situation but from Azriaphale's POV. Go read hers. It's great.  
> I do not own anything of Good Omens, I just love it.

It takes almost a month for things to fall apart. Just a month. A month of peace. Of strolling through the park, feeding the ducks, and eating out at various restaurants. A month of being able to just exist with each other. Things weren't perfect of course. There were so many things still needing to be said, words that Aziraphale sometimes caught himself choking on, but they had time. Or, at least, he had thought they had time. After the last 6000 years, he probably should have known better.

They had been walking together in St. James Park, making their way out after spending almost an hour feeding the ducks and talking about nothing of real importance when it happened. One moment Aziraphale had been walking pleasantly along the path, smiling brightly at Crowley, and the next he was in a bright, white place. His breath caught in his chest as a warm feeling of love and affection surrounded him, filled him. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced since his creation, but could never forget.

"Mother." The word was barely a breath, caught in his chest as it was. His eyes (all of them, there was no corporal form here, only his true one) darted around the seemingly empty space. There was no one there, at least not anyone he could see, but he knew She was there. All around him.

"Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden." Her voice wasn't really one he heard externally. Instead, it echoed through his being. More internal than external. There was a pause before the whiteness in front of him shimmered and a humanoid-like figure formed. It was made more of light than anything else and without any real discerning features, but otherwise, it looked mostly human. A small noise, something torn between a whine and a sob, escaped Aziraphale as he dropped to what qualified as the ground beneath him and bowed his head.

"Mother," he said again, voice stronger this time. A greeting. A prayer.

"It has been a long time since we last spoke my Guardian," Her voice was still more internal than anything else, but it did seem to be originating from the figure in front of him "Much has happened since then." Her voice wasn't accusing, but Aziraphale still found himself swallowing nervously.

"Yes Mother, it has," he agreed uneasily. There was another pause before She spoke again.

"Rise Aziraphale," it was gentle, but he knew it wasn't a request. Aziraphale rose back to his feet, looking at Her more fully. Only then did She continue "Much has happened, but we are not here to speak of those things, not truly. We are here because you have a choice to make. One that will affect your existence from here on out."

"A choice?" Something tightened in his chest. What kind of choice could be so important that the Almighty decided to draw him to Her to ask. 

"Yes," She agreed, Her voice shifting to something almost sympathetic "A choice. You have changed over the years Aziraphale. Earth has changed you. As has your demon. This is not a bad thing necessarily, but it is important." There was another pause and Aziraphale was certain that if he had a heart in this form it would be beating rapidly "Angels are not meant to change Aziraphale," She informed him "Not truly. Yet you have. And if you remain where you are you will continue to change." Fear shot through him then. She didn't seem upset, but the thought that he was not doing what he was supposed to, not being what he was supposed to, shot fear through his being. She spoke again before his thoughts could spiral further "Demons, on the other hand, are beings of chance, much like humans." Another pause before "Do you know where this is going my Guardian?"

"I-I believe so," he replied, mind whirling. And he was fairly certain he did. Or, at least he could guess. The fear was still there, but it eased some, strange as it was. Falling was not something he had truly feared in a long time. Not after getting to know Crowley. "Will you tell me my choices Mother?" There was another pause and Aziraphale could have sworn that the Love around him shifted some, becoming a little warmer. Approving even.

"Angels are not meant to change," She told him again "So, if you wish to remain an angel you must return to Heaven. Your changes will stop there. The others will accept you back among their number and you will be given a job worth your talents and skills." Aziraphale swallowed as he tried to invasion this option. Just the thought made his heart hurt. Leaving behind Earth. Leaving behind Crawley. Being stuck back in Heaven with the other angels, many of which really didn't like him.

"What-what's the other option?" he asked, voice cracking slightly as he pushed those thoughts away.

"You could remain on Earth, with your demon," She replied "But you could not remain an angel. You would Fall." Something actually loosened in his chest at this option, but she pressed on before he could respond "I do warn you, Falling is not a pleasant experience. You would experience pain like you never have before. And it would not be quick. All of the Fallen who have come before lost who they were in the pain. It is very possible you would as well. It could break you."

"But...Crowley would be there?" Aziraphale asked after a long moment, taking that all in.

"If he chooses to be, then yes," he can almost feel a smile in Her voice as she replies "Your corporation will remain on Earth, where you are now. If he chooses to then he can easily remain with your corporation until you return to it, in whatever manner you are after the process is done. But that is up to him. His choice. Just as this is yours." Aziraphale takes a moment to take this in, looking down slightly as the thoughts whirled around his mind. In the end, it wasn't a hard choice, not really. He was certain that his brethren in Heaven would never make the same choice, would never understand his reasoning, but for him, it was hardly a choice at all. Heaven or Earth. Heaven or Crowley. In all honesty, it was a choice he'd already made before now. And he was certain She knew this already. He smiled and raised his head again, looking at her with a calm that probably didn't fit the situation.

"I will not abandon Crowley," he told Her "Nor will I leave Earth behind. If that means I must Fall then that is what I will do." The Love shifted again, becoming a little sad, but still affectionate. Like a hug farewell.

"Very well," She told him, voice tinted with the same loving sadness "Then Fall you will. Good luck my Guardian. I will be watching." Then the ground was gone from beneath him and he was Falling. He made no attempt to catch himself with his wings as the whiteness grew farther and farther away until he could no longer see it. The aether paused by him as he Fell, not through the sky of the physical plain, but something somewhat similar in appearance.

The fall itself was surprisingly fast and uneventful, but it ended in abrupt agony as he hit the upper crust of hell and felt several things in his being snap and tear as the ground break beneath him. Then he was falling again, right into what could only be a lake of sulfur and acid. He lost himself then, succumbing to the pain that enveloped his entire self. He tried to scream but only succeeded in breathing in more of the burning liquid. The pain was everywhere, taking up almost every part of his mind. The pain was everywhere. It was agony. He wanted it to stop. Wanted it to end. He begged for it, pleaded, cursed. Anything he could think of to make it stop.

But through the agony, something else leaked through to reach him. A voice that was achingly familiar and so, so very important. He couldn't put a name or face to the voice, but he clung to it all the same. Clung to it like it was the only thing he had left. He tried to focus on the words. On what was being spoken to him. He couldn't make out the words all the time, but when he could the words helped him remember himself. Tales of his past. Memories. Reminders. Sometimes the voice would shift from telling stories to encouraging him through the pain, begging him to hold on. To come back. The voice understood his pain. Had dealt with it before.

The voice loved him. This fact didn't click into place right away. It was hard to say how much time had passed through the pain, but this realization didn't come about near the beginning. It didn't even fully sink in when he heard the voice telling him this fact, explaining how it had been too frightened to say it before. He wasn't really certain what made this fact sink in, but all of a sudden he was certain of the fact. A name came to him at the same moment. Crowley. It was Crowley. Crowley was talking to him as he went through his Fall. He had stayed. Crowley loved him. This knowledge didn't lessen the pain, but it did give him something to focus on. Crowley loved him and he loved Crowley. This became his anchor. His center. The agony continued and many times he still wanted to end, but he clung to Crowley and the love between them.

Finally, _finally,_ the pain ended and he felt himself floating up out of the lake of pain. He wasn't certain where he was going, but the pain was easing, and moments later he slipped into full unconsciousness. He welcomed it.

It didn't last, but when he came to the pain was considerably less. He felt different too. A little...smaller. Or more compressed. Oh. A corporation. He was back in his body. His senses returned slowly. Eventually, he could feel the softness of what could only be sheets on a bed underneath him and cover him. Could hear the faint sounds of someone breathing to his left. Pushing through the exhaustion weight him down he slowly forced his eyes to open. The ceiling above him was vaguely familiar, but not horribly so. Not...not home. Not his....the word for where he lived escaped him, but this wasn't it. It was familiar though. Safe. Something to his left shifted and he turned his attention over as a figure sat up beside him and peered at him with undisguised fear.

"Aziraphale," the figure spoke, voice breaking on the word before its face distorted in further fear "Can you hear me?" Oh. Aziraphale. That was his name. And that voice. That was Crowley. His Crowley. His demon. Pushing through his exhaustion he forced his body to nod. The figure, Crowley, licked his lips, the fear still remaining. Why was he frightened?

"Do you remember me?" What kind of question was that? Aziraphale closed his eyes for a moment to gather himself, grimacing slightly as the pain in his body flared. He let out a slow breath and opened his eyes again, fixing them on Crowley's uncovered eyes and taking in the naked fear and grief there.

"Yes, my love," he managed to rasp out through dry, painful lips and throat. His voice was barely there, a raspy whisper at most, but he could tell that Crowley heard him. The demon's eyes widened in shock and a small flare of hope lit in those beautiful gold eyes. Thankfully, Crowley didn't ask anything else right away. Instead, the demon held out his hand and snapped, bringing a class of water into existence that he then moved to carefully help Aziraphale drink with slightly shaking hands. The cool water soothed his throat and mouth and the former angel did his best to give Crowley a grateful look for the relief once the cup was empty. He watched as the serpent demon swallowed hard before leaning over to a little more above him before speaking again.

"Aziraphale, is that you?" Poor Crowley, his voice was breaking slightly still, filled with disbelief with only the slightest thread of hope. The pain and grief was still there too. Aziraphale wanted to make that pain and disbelief go away. He felt exceedingly weak, but he managed to make one of his arms move so he could touch one of Crowley's hands that were resting on the bed as he leaned over to look down at Aziraphale. The older demon visibly jumped and his eyes widened as they darted between Aziraphale's hand and face several times, looking almost frantic.

"Yes, Crowley. It's me, my dear." It was easier to talk this time, but his voice, like the rest of him, was still very weak. Crowley's eyes somehow managed to widen farther as the serpent's breathing hitched in his chest.

"How?" Crowley's voice was unsteady as he leaned further over Aziraphale, his hand shifting to grip the hand that was touching his own in what Aziraphale could only guess was desperation "You Fell. How can-How can you still be you? That-that doesn't happen! That's never happened!"

"Breath my dear," Aziraphale soothed, weakly squeezing the hand in his own in reassurance "I'm still me. I heard you, while it was all happening. It...gave me something to focus on. To hold on to." He gave the wide-eyed demon a weak smile "You gave me a reason to hold on. I couldn't leave you. Not after everything we've gone through together."

"You...heard me?" Tears built up and spilled from serpentine eyes as their owner did his best to process this and Aziraphale could only smile gently.

"I did," Aziraphale replied "I couldn't hear everything. And sometimes I couldn't understand what you were saying, but I heard you. You saved me, my love. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know it was frightening." Crowley let out a broken, shaky laugh at that, almost a sob really, and leaned down to press their foreheads together.

"I was scared," It was an admission. And one Aziraphale was certain Crowley wouldn't normally be normal to give. This whole thing must have shaken him. "I was scared I was going to lose you. I'm glad you're still here. Still you."

"So am I," Aziraphale replied with another tired smile, squeezing his hand again.

"Oh Ang-" Crowley cut himself off, eyes widening in slight horror at his own slip-up. "Sorry! I'm sorry!" Aziraphale let out a slow breath and closed his eyes for a long moment, processing his own feelings for the age-old nickname.

"You weren't really calling me by my species," it was more of a statement than a question, but Crowley replied anyways, shaking his head slightly, but not lifting it from where it was resting against Aziraphale's.

"Not for millennia." And that was an admission in and of itself, but no more than the ones Aziraphale had heard during his Fall. He let out a slow breath and opened his eyes to meet the serpentine ones above him again.

"Then it's fine, Dearest. You-argh!" A flare of pain cut him off and stole his breath away, causing him to clench his eyes shut against it. He could feel Crowley's hand on his shoulder a moment later, warm and comforting.

"Easy Angel," Crowley's voice was steadier now, but still tight with concern as Aziraphale took several slow breaths and made himself relax "That's it. You're alright." There was a pause before he spoke again "You should bring your wings out, Angel. It will probably help." Aziraphale grimaces at the thought, but nods and a moment later Crowle's arm shifted to carefully help him sit up, supporting him. Fighting back pain and exhaustion Aziraphale reached into the space he stored his wings and carefully pulled them out. He can't helped the small cry of pain that escapes him as they flare into existence and the pain flares. He tries to stretch them some, straigthen them, but ends up biting back a scream at the agony that movement causes.

"Easy Angel," Crowly cautioned again "Don't try and move them. It's alright. I've got it." His voice is low and soothing, but Aziraphale can hear the grief there again, lingering underneath. And the hands that carefully come up to touch his wings are shaking slightly. Bringing his own hands up to cling to the back of the other demon's shirt Aziraphale leaned heavily against his friend as Crowley began working to unbend the wing from the position it had cramped in. He does his best to bite back the pain, but pained whimpers escape him despite his best efforts to hold them back. He knows Crowley is being as gentle as he can.

"Damn that Bitch." The words, and the tight fury underneath them, catch Aziraphale off guard and he carefully turns his head to look at the side of Crowley's face, noting the blazing anger in the slit eye he can see. "How dare She do this to you! You didn't deserve this! Not you. How _dare_ She-"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale cut him off as sharply as he could, catching the attention of the older Fallen, before continuing in a gentler tone "It's alright. This was my choice." He can feel Crowley's entire being freeze at that, shock and horror clearly readable in his posture. A moment later he's the focus of two wide serpentine eyes, begging for an explanation.

"What?! Your choice?! Angel! What?!" Aziraphale gave him a small, slow smile and nodded.

"My choice. I could either go to Heaven and stay there as an angel for the rest of eternity or Fall and get to stay here on Earth. With you. I chose to stay." Pressed against each other like they were Aziraphale could feel the deep, shaky breath Crowley took in as he tried to process this, tears slipping free of his eyes again.

"You shouldn't have-! Why would you-?!" The poor dear couldn't seem to finish a thought so Aziraphale took pity on him. Leaning over some he pressed a soft kiss to the serpent demon's cheek, noting in interest how a bright flush flared across the pale cheeks a moment later.

"I couldn't abandon you, my love," he said simply "Nor could I abandon what we worked so hard for. We're on our own side now, right?" Crowley takes another shaky breath before nodding, though he still seems rather overwhelmed.

"Right..." Clearly not sure what else to say Crowley turns his attention back to helping fix the wing he had been working on a little bit ago. The pain is subsiding, thankfully, and Aziraphale allows his eyes to slide closed as he leans heavily against the demon holding him up.

"You alright?" Crowley's voice, calmer and soothing again, cuts through the haze that began to settle over him and Aziraphale forces his eyes open again.

"Yes. Just tired, my love." He felt more than heard the quiet hum Crowley makes before he was carefully lowered back to lay on the bed.

"Then get some rest, Angel. You deserve it." Aziraphale smiled sleepily up at him and nodded.

"Would you mind staying with me while I rest?" It wasn't something he would normally ask, but after everything that happened Aziraphale felt that the comfort of having Crowley nearby was worth the blow to his pride. 

"I don't mind at all," Crowley agreed, shifting to lay on the bed next to him before reaching over and carefully taking hold of one of Aziraphale's hands "I'll be right next to you. For as long as you want me." Another small smile slips onto Aziraphale's face as exhaustion pulls him under, but he manages to get out a one-word response.

"Always."


End file.
